skid row

they don't stake their tents down
because, you know, its awfully hard
to stake a tent to dirty city sidewalks

some lay down under open night sky
in a pile of sleeping bags and
thin blankets that probably smell
like piss

and we drive by
holding each-others hands
and our full bellies
we are laughing
and talking and listening to music
and he is drinking a milkshake bigger
than my face
and he leans over and kisses me
with his vanilla lips

and I don't understand why
they are here
and not in bed

why didn't anyone say I love you
and mean it
and hold them to the ground
or lift them to the sky

why are they laying here

why can't they care
enough
to get the fuck up
to live

Ode to Yellow

Yellow

you are eggs
sunny-side up.
you giggle as I scoop you into
my open red mouth.

you are pollen, impregnating
flowers
that crawl across mountains
in wild bliss.

you, dear yellow, are the sun.

you are life.

you are the moon and the stars

you are this book that I am reading
that is telling me to write.
Write!
you are the highlighter
that I am marking it up
in--
line after line of
poignant thought.

yellow.
yell--oh.

when I close me eyes and imagine
what you must feel like
I can only think of the golden warmth
of spring
and I can only imagine that you taste
like bananas

and I am reminded of that banana tree
that use to grow behind
the apartment that I use to live in

and the walls there, that I painted
a golden hue

I am reminded, yellow, of the life that was held
within those walls

I am reminded of that life

They packed up all of the fun and drove away

Zelda is meowing in the hallway.
The house feels vacant and kinda like someone forgot to pay the electric
and the gas.
The rooms feel hollow
and my little yard cries out that it can not grow!
Zelda is meowing in the hallway
We miss them too much.

One Hundred Things

1.) I love swearing. No, really, it shakes my body awake with laughter! I even like to write swear words. There is nothing like dropping an 'F' Bomb!
2.) My toenails are ALWAYS red!
3.) I'm horrible on the phone. I make it awkward and rushed but it doesn't mean that I don't love you.
4.) My mom is probably the coolest and most amazing person I know!
5.) I miss Washington everyday.
6.) I talk to my cat. And she answers. Zelda is one smart cookie!
7.) And speaking of cookies, I make em'! All the time! And Pies. And Brownies. Want something, I'll bake it for you!
8.) I love getting dressed up and taking absolutely ridiculous pictures. Videos are even better!
9.) I was blessed with the most amazing brothers and sisters! I love them insanely and would do anything to make sure that they are happy...so don't f*ck with them! :)
10.) I have at least one out-of-town visitor a month! My doors are always open..wanna come to Hollywood?
11.) I wish that I was more informed. Foreign policy, Immigration, Politics and Economics. Because then I could make an informed decision.
12.) I love country music! Cheesy crap!
13.) I believe in Ghosts. I grew up in a Haunted House so just tell me that they aren't real!
14.) I can't wait to see more of the world! Brazil, Argentina, Egypt, India, Portugal, France (yep, still haven't been there!) wherever..I want to see it all!
15.) I love the goodwill! I grooove on the whole experience..even that tranny who keeps eyeballing my sequined dress! ha!
16.) I want Chocolate everyday...and I deny myself little! Typically I'll opt for Rocky Road Ice cream.
17.) I'm kinda over drinking. And I think that there must be something wrong with me...
18.) Grass between my toes...ahhhh...and maybe the dirt is a little damp so that it squishes up and makes your feet all muddy. I love it!
19.) I play my music LOUD!!!! All of it! All of the time. I'll probably have poor hearing when I am older.
20.) Sometimes I smile so much that my face hurts. And I defiantly laugh enough to cause a cramp in my stomach. It is amazing!
21.) I don't really 'do' breakfast. And I know that it is bad.
22.) I still look for things among the clouds.
23.) Oh, and I wish on all the brightest stars. If I want if bad enough, my wish comes true...all in due time, little one.
24.) I miss working on house projects. I even miss sanding...Oh the days of Colonel Sanders... 25.) I wish you all the best in everything. And I mean it with all that is inside of me!
26.) I'm really tired...I have to finish this later.

Where have I gone? Swallowed. Gobbled down by a giant black beadle who was nothing more than hungry. Not malicious or mean, just hungry. And who can fault him for that?
I have been floating inside of his stomach, drowning in Black Beadle stomach acid. Consumed and voraciously digested.
I have fallen out the otherside (excuse the visual). I have been given back to the Earth. Almost whole.

If I could call the rain to dance I’d ask only for one violent and passionate tango;
the black/blue sky would be shot through with
lightening & the drum of thunder would rock
the earth and I, I would court it and hold its hand.
Dance with me. Dance with me. Shake me and wake me.


And when it was over I wouldn’t mind falling to
the ground ,the wet grass, the wet dirt,
and catching up with my breath.

If I could ask the sun to be mine at night, to
come to me at the hour that he retires and slips
behind that mountain we both love, I would. I’d
invite him to tea and we’d get drunk on
laughter and lazy on words. Talk to me and I
will listen. Make me laugh. Make me cry. Stir
me with your story. Shake me and wake me.

And when he left late in the night/early in the
morning I wouldn’t mind lying there by myself
feeling empty except for the words he’d placed
into my soul.

Today I am a drowned rat. I am a drowned rat caught in this Californian Storm.